Why People Stay in Bad Relationships


We sometimes stay in crappy, even toxic, relationships for longer than we should. It isn’t because of an addiction to chaos, nor do we want to be mistreated. Most probably, every now and then, we see a ray of hope that things will improve. 

We may miss red flags in our relationship that others notice, possibly because we are looking at our partner and the relationship patterns through a compassionate and hopeful lens.

Bad relationship

The Influence Of Our Beliefs

We have a variety of beliefs about ourselves and others that influence our choices. We might believe that the right assistance or support can aid our partner to get to their full potential and that we are responsible for providing that assistance and support. We might also be frightened that if we leave, we will hurt them, or that our partner will not be able to survive without us. 

Our dreams could be inextricably linked to our commitment to this individual, and if we break up, those dreams will die. Perhaps we believe that our main responsibility is to heal and care for others, even if it means losing ourselves in the process. Or perhaps we’re afraid of being selfish, and it’s unthinkable to leave a relationship even though our own desires and needs aren’t being met. 

man and woman sitting in front of furnace

Should I Stay Or Should I Leave?

How to Communicate with Yourself

As you consider your relationship, consider asking yourself, “What would I tell a friend in this circumstance?” We are more straightforward and empathetic about our friends’ situations than we are about our own. 

It’s, therefore, a good idea to talk to yourself in the same way you would to a close friend. Trying to look at your own scenario through the eyes of a friend can help you understand what is happening and identify which problems require action.

How to Determine Whether Your Partner Is Really Willing to Change

So, how can you tell if someone is dedicated to personal development? They do something. They follow through on their promises; their words meet their actions. They are also aware of and admit their own problems. They are dedicated to working toward a remedy. 

They are willing to discuss the problem and work to solve it, rather than competing with you. They acknowledge that something needs to be fixed. If you’re in a toxic relationship, nothing will change until your partner realizes what they’re doing is wrong and stops doing it.

man staring at woman near gray concrete wall

How to Assess Your Situation

It can be difficult to make a decision about what to do in these relationships when hope clouds your judgment. The best course of action is to re-align yourself with your principles, aspirations, and priorities. Once you’ve identified what’s important to you, you can eventually make the best relationship decision.