What to Do When Sex Is Disappointing


What do you do if your sex life remains unsatisfactory months or even years after you’ve married? Maybe it used to be great, but now you’re in a different stage of life and sex is disappointing or awkward. Don’t settle for second best. When you’re having underwhelming or bad sex, try these five things.

sad couple

1. Have a conversation with your husband

This can be awkward in the beginning years of marriage. However, there is something to be said for gently voicing your sentiments to your husband. After all, you’re attempting to build your life with each other, and you simply cannot stop just because you’ve hit a snag. Find some courage and tell him you’re having trouble and inquire about what you can do better for him as well.

2. Find someone with whom you can converse

I’m not talking about gossiping with your BFF. The last thing you want is another person’s opinion tainting your interactions with your husband when it comes to sex. If you think getting advice would be beneficial, don’t go behind his back. Ensure you talk to someone you can trust, whether it’s a counsellor, a therapist, or a friend.

woman in white dress lying on white bed

3. Have reasonable expectations

Embrace the positive aspects of your sex life. Remember that if you’ve struggled (and who hasn’t? ), you may have hurt feelings or damaged pride. You won’t be capable of solving everything right away, but a small positive step can lead to a memorable night for both of you.

4. Take charge of the situation

It’s all too easy to get caught in a rut. Perhaps your sex life isn’t terrible, but just bearable. Why not mix things up a little? Take a turn initiating sex if your husband is always the one to do so. 

Alternatively, get hot and heavy in a new location or at a different time. Keep in mind how much fun you had when you were dating? Be ready to put up a fight for your sex life. And besides, this is the only sex life you’ll have if you’re devoted to your marriage. If you’re going to give it your all, you might as well go all out!

woman in black shirt and black pants sitting on bed

5. Keep a long-term perspective in mind

Isn’t it true that we’ll be together until death do us part? The media likes to paint sex as an instant spark as if a connection isn’t worth your time unless it involves hot, fiery intimacy.

However, in a healthy marriage, you can find something profound and more satisfying, as well as something more sustainable. It’s important to remember that this isn’t a race. This culture tries to persuade us that excitement only exists in the brief moments of a first date, but they are wrong.