Libido mismatch: What to do if you have a higher sex drive than your partner


There is a stereotype in most heterosexual relationships that men always desire more sex than women, but this isn’t always the case. In some instances, the opposite is actually true. A libido mismatch is indeed a common issue among couples, regardless of sexual orientation or gender, and it is essential to discuss it.

A more satisfying sex life can be attained by comprehending each other’s desires, determining what suits you both, and keeping your individual needs and boundaries in mind.

libido mismatch

Advice when you have more libido than your partner:

1. Give each other the time and honesty to resolve issues

When discussing delicate subjects, we frequently try to avoid upsetting the other person. That does not apply in the case of mismatched libidos, though.

Be as clear as you can about the specific characteristics of your sexual relationship that you do or do not want. Being sincere and making the necessary adjustments afterward is always simpler.

2. Avoid pressuring one another by making the other feel bad

You will always feel let down if you put undue pressure on your relationship and yourself to adhere to a particular sex schedule you have in mind.

It’s crucial to understand that maintaining a work-life balance requires effort from both parties. Due to their prior obligations, whether personal or professional, you cannot make the other person feel bad.

3. Incorporate toys or self-indulgence to the mix to reduce the pressure on both partners

Because they have a linear understanding of what sex is, the majority of couples struggle with their sexual lives. There is a distinction between intimacy and intercourse. You can always come up with new ways to enjoy yourself or another person, whether by masturbating or using sex toys.

4. If one of you feels finished, but the other wants to go on, don’t be embarrassed

Instead of alienating the other person if one of you is experiencing a sex slump, try to figure out why. In any relationship, having a higher libido is not to be ashamed of because physical intimacy is essential.

On the other hand, do not be discouraged and try self-pleasure for that big O if your partner finished and you did not.

5. Do not feel shy to ask for it. It doesn’t imply that you are both insufficient in any way

If your sex drive differs from that of the person you’re with, there’s no reason to feel guilty or ashamed about it. It is completely acceptable to have extremely diverse libidos that change frequently. Conflicting sexual desires are common in relationships, and this is acceptable. But is it necessary to be ashamed of it? No, it’s not.