Every couple goes through difficult times, but it is how we deal with them that allows us to grow. The thief of joy is comparison, and comparing your marriage to another’s will be no exception. Do you wonder if you have the ingredients for a happy marriage? Try these three measures of relationship success that are much healthier (and more realistic) than comparison.
1. There is open and honest communication
Lack of communication and miscommunication are two of the leading causes of marriage failure. One of the characteristics of a successful marriage is that it provides a safe environment in which to discuss anything. Communication is more than just talking; it is a two-way street that is conversational. It involves listening, too.
Can you listen and accept constructive criticism without becoming defensive? Whenever you need to be honest with your husband, can you engage him gently? If you answered yes to both of those questions, then your marriage most likely has healthy communication.
2. You frequently inquire, “How am I loving my husband?”
In a marriage conference, the speaker mentioned that he would frequently ask those he mentored, “Are you really loving your spouse?” He would then ask if they thought their partner would agree to their answer.
Responding honestly will reveal some of the ways you love your husband more. Chances are he’ll respond differently than you expected, but if your main objective is the health of your marriage, you’ll listen actively, receive feedback, and put it into practice.
3. You’re both becoming better versions of yourself
Modern culture says that your happiness as an individual is what leads to the success of your marriage. The reality of the situation is that a successful marriage necessitates change on your part. That does not mean you have to give up everything about yourself. No, you are evolving into a better version of yourself.
There will be differences of opinion and arguments, but a successful relationship will transform you into a more affectionate, patient, kind, pleasant, genuine, and self-controlled person than you were before. Once both you and your partner have grown in these areas, it is evidence that you are assisting each other in becoming better and your marriage will follow suit.